insecuritites

It is bad enough you are only discovering who you are every single morning when you wake up, or is it good? either way, it is great if you can deal with the discovery, change or modify all that is of no use to you.Playing angry music does not necessarily make you an angry person neither does playing loud music or perhaps singing gospels does not make you a good person neither does it make you bad though. What then do you say when you have to deal with the fact that you are not perfect everytime you are with your friends or when you are alone in your own little haven or when you are an ocean aprt from the person you love. What keeps you sane, what gives you hope that the person will not stray or even you? What keeps you from thinking you are stupid if you believe in the other person? What keeps you from giving in? What makes the sound of his voice sweeter everytime you here it.His little elaborate way of moulding his vowels and almost consuming them makes you blush and grin and you face lights up. How do you finally say, no matter what, he is what i have been waiting for all my life how do you keep and believe in his promises. Where do you dig up the faith he is faithful to you as he says?Who is to say that you need to keep that faith or chuck it away. Insecurity is fear, and as the Bible says "I have not instilled in you the spirit of fear" so while you feel it is okay to lose faith in the other person and that you feel a little bit out of sink with his tone of voice, and his rhythm of speaking perhaps what you need is to understand what brought the other person to you in the first place. And hope that that thing will keep you together as well as other things that you discover. the worst you can do to the person you care about be it your husband,boyfriend wife or girlfriend or even just you best pal is not believe them when they make you promises or be unsure of what they feel for you despite their assurance. one person once told me, " Trust until you are given reason not to" rather than, "be suspicious until you're given reason to trust". While this would feel like walking into a landmine. Well where is your faith. While our intuition tells us to expose a tough exterior we are as vulnerable as good china, but our hearts are as precious and rare as the pearls by the sea.

virgin

I have gotten my heart broken more times than i have seen the war. but then i have never really seen the war so that may be once or twice...i have lived knowing i'm about to walk into pain but somehow not being able to avoid. See the irony is that even in a time when all seems impossible to fix, like a phoenix i rise from the ashes. Some people whose hearts have been trampled over and over again lose heart but for some well...they keep on keeping on. As for me, when my heart breaks its just goes to show i didnt read it right i stand on my feet and i give it my all on the next trial. I have promised myself i'll never be swept off my feet i will always walk with eyes wide open,was i true to myself? What happens when you cannot control what is to happen to you?what if "maktub" "it is written"? I think of the world as my crystal ball, only this crystal ball is a mystery because it is hazy so i cannot tell what lies ahead. What i am sure of is what is happening in the present. One woman, whose soul was torn apart by love once said, "the heart can only love once, because when we love and lose love we lack the ability to make our soul pure again. we lose the purity of our hearts forever. we're unable to make our hearts "VIRGIN" of love and pain alike. While we might agree this is somewhat true. A famous and inspirational writer begs to differ as he says that when we love a different being from whomever we have loved before our hearts become pure and we love anew. It becomes something that we really dont want to compare because it is so new to us. we have seen such but we choose to start afresh live on the today not yesterday or tomorrow. So are our hearts like our bodies are only virgin for a time, after which we can not "revirginate"? Or is it true that when one loves anew, they are stepping in a new territory, a new life a completely new feeling? or is that a notion only a novelist who writes fiction can live by?

SOMETHING to LEARN...

Have you ever woken up from sleep and you have a terrible headache? you get to the bathroom and you realise you have a pimple, you go for breakfast and the milk you put in the cereal has gone bad, you get to the bus stop and there is no bus in sight, worse yet, your bus lives you? you suddenly get the feeling the world is against you. "Its not my day" you say.
" whats the worst that can happen? "you think. you get to class and you have no idea why everybody seems to be too busy to help with this excersise that you cant seem to get! and you think "i wish this day could end" the only person who is nice to you, its possible to get an urge to snap at them just so they ask what the problem is.

Experience is the mother of all teachers, what better to know fire burns than gettin burnt a little. How better to know the importance of friendships than making and keeping friends?, how better to know of a broken heart until you experience it?Learn to understand your patterns of living. The friends you keep somehow reflect who you are, the phrases you use makes it possible to respect you or otherwise. Think about everytime you have felt betrayed.The questions that came to mind. And surely that question has been repeated in your mind in the peace of your heart and the silence of the world. To learn about the world you lose something. With every bit of knowledge you aquire there is something that gets lost in you, is there knowledge divine enough, pure enough to compensate for my soul should it get lost?

When we were all were younger we knew the basics, do not steal, do not lie, do not come home late, but now we modify all these because experience tells us different. Are we then becoming people without direction? Because sometimes experience tells you,"well you can steal, as long as no one gets hurt" or " you can lie, it protects other people from the ugly truth" and of course, "you can come home late no one will scold you" Perhaps what experience is trying to teach us is that, learn more about yourself do not immerse yourself in the pressures of the world, instead immerse yourself in your own soul. The world will revolve around you. Positive thoughts attract positive energy. Experience tells us so.

DAWN of LIFE

This is the dawn of a new era...there is something to learn, something to teach, something to cry about,something to laugh about,something to open your eyes to, something to treasure,something to praise,something to rebel against,something to give into,something to abandon,something to love,something to loathe,something to be proud of,something to wonder about,something to discover. Every moment that we are awake there is something happening every moment that we breath something comes alive in us. we learn from the experiences,laugh at our failures,gleem with pride for our successes...all in all everyday we live. we call it a gift it is LIFE. Join in a notice how every life connects with yours despite how we think.