hidden

The greatest attack is found in secrecy and subtle gestures. Anger is the slowest of human emotion, it forgets and does not reason. Being a child i was taught i could not be angry that it was rude and disrespectful. I was also told I could only get angry in my own house, advice that i took rather seriously, that in my house i would have things my way or no way at all. The trick with that simple philosophy is that at the age of 22, i do not have a house of my own, not entirely i part own a house which makes my simple rule rather hard to implement. Here is where i have to learn the great value of compromise, consultancy and respect for privacy along with respect for boundaries. I must admit these are not my strongest points work is therefore required of me. A point that i need to put out there is that truly, anger is not an emotion to embrace and yes if talking to myself makes me feel calm and ready to smile then that is my greatest achievement.
Pain, for the longest time became my inspiration, it is something i can relate to. When does it become wrong to be on the negative just to have the best poem, song or any of the literary pieces? When you move around with negative energy, it follows you and everyone that is around. So you find that everyone around you tends to have the same difficulties in life as you do. Simple things, "Why cant i have a happy relationship?" And yet around that relationship, be it with a friend or an opposite sex whenever you criticize your relationship and allow it to be a point of disappointment you actually bring negative energy to it and eventually doom it to disfunctionality and failure.
the most powerful of hidden is a love unexplored, undiscovered, a love hindered or disregarded unaccepted. A love betrayed, abused and belittled a love so deep a being comes undone at the thought of this love unfulfilled. In the shadows I pray the situation is reversed, in the dark i cling to a small amount of hope that it will get better, in my solitude i cry myself to sleep and know i am surviving and i take it all in my stride. When is it time to admit its too much? It is not unfair if you have experienced it, it touched you and that feeling will not wither not even under an environment ever so unfavourable.
In a real world we know of hidden agendas, we see them in ourselves, in our governments in our leaders and in our partners. People fill posts for the money, some for the fame and some for the privileges. our gut can guide you, I believe it is your Godliness telling you when danger comes, when you should turn away and when you should step in. Hidden, is it not a word to give chills when heard?

Moments

At the risk of sounding completely delusional, I have to say real love does exist. In the deepest of thoughts and the strangest of places, it s in our old friends that we treasure and our family whom we hope will always be there for us. It s also in the people that hurt us and we know it. Imagine a woman, that has been loved genuinely and felt it every second after, a woman that can live on a memory and allow it to satisfy her. She allows it to tell her that she is fine, she does not need to touched nor does she need a voice to remind her, a woman with a faith so great it allows her to go to bed with the comfort of a memory of a man that could possibly be a fragment of her imagination. A walk down memory lane proved there is a time in my life i cannot remember, perhaps i do not want to remember but, it is a time where i had two conflicting emotions. firstly i was scared because of an event i had been warned would occur but made a choice to go ahead and see for myself and secondly I was happy because i had found a man so adoring i felt his presence in his calm sense and pure essence a man that could make a promise and stick with it. In essence i have experienced love and adoration in a man worthy of love. Imagine the disappointment i felt when i realised i had let him go and had reason why. I have pure memories of him back in a time when love had no note of a bedroom or a touch just a glance did it. A vivid one in his car behind my parent's yard, we spoke, laughed and blushed. He was there for me, i had not asked him he had decided on his free will how can I not love him, or his no character, or his memory? In a real world, in the world now, he has moved on met the love of his life it does not mean he is not the love of mine. Every moment with him has always been profound and exciting he has been the only one that i still care for with no side resentments because as it turns out he has never not once hurt me. His kiss, so gentle and amazingly exciting and contenting and the same time, lovingly covering me without pressure but security, the type of kiss that tingles in your belly no matter how many times you replay it.
The tone of his voice clears all doubts, he is my calm day, my clear blue sky, my still stream my friend and an angel that touched me. I remember you, I always will.