inadequate

sometimes they make you feel as though "just" you isn't enough, that a little bit more is needed to be worth it. they want you to change so that you fit into their lifestyle, they can show you off to their friends who will then turn green with envy. they are not satisfied with a nod of approval or a comment to note how fun and smart you are. they want to know their friends would do much more, would want much more and will most likely ask about you long after you had gone. are our inadequacies and insecurities fueled by the people who are meant to love us no matter how strange we might look to others?

is it so easy to feel inadequate because even for the best of us, sometimes our own thoughts aren't enough to keep us above water?truly is it us that need to change our attitudes and learn to care a little less what they think, or what their friends think, hope and insist on?truly every time the friends are there, there comes a moment when our partners. our friends, our colleagues aren't so sure about us anymore. our inadequacies root from what someone else (mostly those who don't even know you) condemns you and ensures those who were supposed to know you better haven't the confidence to defend you for fear of being shunned for being yet another inadequacy. we then continue to thrive on approval by people we don't know and sometimes don't care to learn about. to please people who are not watching while in the process our hearts break and our egos? well further bruised.

its in the unexpected sigh one gets when the line stops ringing and the voice on the other end is not excited to hear you call, it is in the faded smile of a lover, the loss of interest of a friend and the indifference of a child who used to look up to you. inadequacy hurts us, it breaks our spirits and gives us more to worry about not because is it "really" important but because once it gets you, feeling inadequate can crush you and leave no evidence you ever was. how can one protect themself from irrational feelings of being undersized and unfulfilled and less than good enough?this is why all the while you draw a line not to go over the top and start thinking you might be better than someone?