Birthday Wish

My first thought was that, "What would be the perfect gift?" Would it be flowers? Or jewelery? Or dinner? well it could be anything couldnt it? But what i hadn't considered was that perhaps the best gift wouldn't be so much the material or the person who delivers it. It was mostly just the way someone makes me feel. That grin that flashes that is beyond your control, the twinkle that you can't explain in your eye.I have to say the best of gifts is one that is forever cherished and yet somewhat more sentimental than the one you thought would certainly make your world brighter.

Today my wish was to be relaxed and happy in my own skin. It meant more to me to find a moment on the day where i can smile, and when i scream and hoped it would be because nothing else in the world mattered. i hoped i would have a chance to sit on my balcony and admire the view of the footballpitch littered with children playing soccer. i imagine it would be soothing to hear the soosh of the river as it ran between the blocks of my condominium. 

I wished i would have no worries today, that whenever i reached out someone would be just there to help me, i wished that when i hint to someone my absolute need for a certain gadget that it would miraculously appear before me. But its not really what i wanted to live with, though i wish today perfect, i also wished that i would be blessed, protected and most of all provided for. These wishes were fulfilled. i was protected throughout the day i was blessed with friends that know exactly what to say and i was provided for, meals, clean water, other refreshments. 

I'm amazed at all the things i thought i wanted. that i pretty much begged for. i asked for things i thought i needed to wish for not things i truly desired. i spent the night with a chain of short prayers aimed at fixing my current seemingly insignificant issues. things that might have no bearing in what happens to me in the future. so now i ask you...if you had a birthday wish, what would be your criteria to choose... and what do you think your birthday wish would be?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 

tears

I might have to mention that sometimes there is more to a relationship than meets the eye. there is more than what other people can see and notice and approve. there is possibly more than what parties in the mentioned relationship can fathom. it is not so much there is a world that is left undiscovered by limiting ourselves to the norm. it is also, and mostly, that we are afraid to embrace what we might eventually hold dear. or perhaps it is simply intuition telling us that no matter how much of this we might want, we could never truly be happy in it. sometimes in a relationship, it helps to know where the other person is, because what do we profit from hoping for an understanding when we have no communication to back it up?
imagine the affection that we more often than not place on people whose intentions have no sincerity towards us? is it not better to know certainly what you and your partner want from a partnership rather than to find out whatever it is does not match our own? are we therefore saying that we should not premeditate what a relationship should be even though it might potentially cause us tears? imagine walking into a room and the first eyes you meet capture you. imagine when your very first thought is that you would love this person forever even before your first conversation. isnt that what everyone wants? to just know? isnt it more romantic? but what about if one question disillusioned you? wouldn't it be better to know certainly whether your intentions meet? or would you rather live in bliss only to reap our your own heart when the other's intentions don't match your own?
while some tears are unavoidable, some tears are not only unworthy but they make us feel weak. they tend to make us feel as though we are entitled to heartbreak upon heartbreak. but truly who made that rule? why should we cry just because we eventually want to be happy? why is it so important that we accept disappointment and heartbreak and make it seem as though we wouldn't be human if we didnt cry? the next time you think of a free fall, it wouldn't hurt to think about the consequences as long as you're willing to fall bumps and bruises before hand shouldn't kill you. take time ask a question let your gut lead you and the next tear that falls make it a tear of joy and fulfillment. you owe it to yourself. there is no wrong in tears but what tears do you choose?