the porter's hand

Its only now that realise there is a consistency to things do. love hard, get broken hearted and start all over again. break limbs trying to climb to the highest so yell from high above its true,I fell for you. I grin at the baby in its mother's arms in the seat next to me on that long long queue at the immigration house because goodness knows when you are on my mind nothing can get me down from that high. its toothless grin its all it takes to make me roll on the floor laughing. you do that to me, every single day. even when you make me sad there is still that piece of me that cannot cry forever because know perfection is what is on my mind but you are just the next best thing.
Why did the maker design your eyes like u could be awake or asleep the difference is subtle? or your nose sharp and its bridge flat like a good enough path to rely on to get home? what about the lips that part a little in the middle to give me a peek but never enough for me to actually see anything and maybe if you chocolate skin did not seem to drip pure beauty my  eyes water when you turn to leave, what of those arms that hold me once and make me feel like in lifetimes to come I will still dream of the subtle smell of fresh the skin on ur man hands brushing kindly, shyly against mine? but you I forget quickly the smile u give, yes that small elegant smile that makes my knees weak and my heart beats like a drum in my ear.
I now know the maker to be a porter, to turn a boy into a man. to make him right from all angles, to give him the best ear to listen to demzels in distress to hear a brother's plea, your arms so strong and wide enough to send what the porter intended. I wonder if the porter will give me you for I know you now, and a I appreciate every piece of perfection and or flaw that the porter's hand made...

endless

I am wiser now, I no better now, there are tragedies have witnessed however small in other eyes in mine they have been epic. Learning about love,peace and hope for me has been centrerd around tolerance, sacrifice and a special kind of sacrice. whta am I doing so wrong to continue to disappoint and get disappointed in love and in life and even in friendships? experiences in my life have been quiet but catastrophic  in their own way but because I am of goodness and love still forge on.

Insanity has been rightly desribed as "repeating the same ation but expecting different results" in my quest to get away from insanity I removed myself and my emotions when finding a partner, I learnt about love with no overshadows of sex and the blinding insecurities of beauty and worth, instead I learnt about peace of mind, about hope, patience tolerance respect and above all this learnt that without all these, there is no chance at all for love.

What then am I saying about love? that sometimes to get back her worth, a woman needs to let a man chase her court her with dignity. she needs to learn to accept compliments, she needs to sit out a cheque at the restaurant and that door better be open for her. a woman need not go after a man she believes she loves but rather allow a suitor who adores her to display that adroation in her life, why? because those that we choose for ourselves don't enjoy the pursuit because we short circuit it, but those that are allowed a chance those are the ones that get to learn in detail our thoughts, our hopes, our fears. the beauty about being a woman is that once a man is attentive enough to you, we can't help but feel a loving closeness to him.

A man chases,let him chase u endlessly into complete bliss. he needs it for his excited nature knows no different. give him a chance to court you, to find different ways to please you. don't let anyone tell you different, a woman needs to be adored, needs for her wounds to be tetended to. She needs to be loved held appreciated respectd because she gives all of these everyday. She deserves to endlessly be treated like royalty...for she is from an endless line of royals.

dreaming

Sometimes I dream with my eyes wide open. I dream of a place where my hand, my smile my laughter is appreciated. I dream of a place where people walking on the same dirt ground as me see me as see them. dream of faces of children playing in the sun their bliss rooting on absolute ignorance filling the air. I dream of disease being buried under water where no man can ever reach, no spirit can access I simply dream of a world where all our worries are contained in tiny clear jars and thrown into limbo. then I dream of men and women know, their hapiness shines in their faces and when they kiss sunlight rises from between their content faces into a world that could always use a little more light
Sometimes though, I simply dream about now, in this world where cold is real and so is hot, where man n spirit work together to bring chaos I sit my eye to the sky wondering, what could do for the faces I've come to fear that appear before me in the street. faces that know the confines of a prison, faces that know the hand of the abuser and faces that know many nights spent with nothing to eat. I open my mouth but words caanot come out, because I have been conditioned to comfort of myself and my immediate family and associates, peace of my own heart and those whose faces will see constantly and hapiness of those who have my number, my email and my facebook page.
Am I living in a world where a dream is only a dream unless you sign your soul off? am I living in a world where to dream, I need money for a peace of mind. is it so hard for us today to simply strive on faith, on hope on sharing? as I sit here dreaming of a better world, hope someone else is out there making it better..just long enough for me to catch up..I still dream.